You don’t think our pledges would walk around empty handed, now do you? Absolutely not. A pledge comes fully equipped with anything and everything that the brotherhood needs.
Pledges are capable of many things. It’s not just what the brotherhood has them physically perform, it’s also what they have them physically hold. With every woman comes a purse. With every pledge, comes… well, a lot of things. Let’s break down anything and everything that pledges have been known to carry over the span of time. While some physical objects are meant for true need, most are meant for pure humiliation.
We’ve already discussed #69 Signature Books in detail, but this one tops the list of accessories. Every pledge is required to hold some form of a book that incorporates brother signatures, facts, stories, songs, etc. These books are the Holy Grail of pledgeship, and can be known as a diary of sorts. While most are used for pledge education, some books are used as a hazing tool. You don’t think the brotherhood actually remembers those dates, do you? Absolutely not. It’s always easy to give a quiz when you have the answers in front of you.
One of the simpler elements of pledgeship, pledge pins must be warn by pledges at all times. If the #53 Pledge Attire doesn’t give it away, a pledge pin will. Yet, during some activities, a pledge pin isn’t worn for obvious reasons. There’s really nothing special about them. It’s a pin, and they wear it on their shirt. I wish there was a cool story about them, but alas, there isn’t.
When you’re parched, what can you do? No money, no change for the vending machines? Not to worry, pledges have your back. In most fraternities around the country, pledges are required to have change in the form of single dollar bills or quarters. By no means are they an ATM, but they’re required to have so much money on them every day. You’d be amazed how many parking tickets can be saved with a few timely quarters. For a pledge, it’s all apart of the #62 Cost of Pledgeship.
Whether it’s cigarettes or dip, pledges have it. In most cases, there’s a tobacco pledge. One pledge will be designated to hold all types of cigarettes, dip, etc. In other pledgeships, all pledges have to carry some form of tobacco. It just depends what campus you’re on. Either way, this is a must. A quick smoke before dinner never felt so good, especially on someone else’s dime. More importantly, tobacco is banned on most campuses these days, unfortunately. The #16 Importance of Secrecy is key, and you won’t find a pledge holding these items out in the open.
A usual complement to cigarettes, matches and lighters are needed at all times. There’s nothing worse than not having a lighter. Well, unless you can force a pledge to make a fire with two sticks. Good luck with that. For all of you potheads out there, how many times have you lost your lighter when high? Too many to count. Why worry when you can order a lighter in an instant? Getting pledges high is a whole different story for another time… #81 Parental Problems.
No, condoms are not bro. But we don’t want any mini me’s running around our frat house either. You ever bought the morning after pill? It’s fucking expensive. Pledges are required to have a condom on them at all times. No, this isn’t going in a gay direction. They’re solely used for brother needs. Whether its a girlfriend or late-night slam piece, condoms come in handy at all times of the day and night. They’re alot more protective than a Snicker’s wrapper, too. The #68 Long Dick of the Law prevents us from pushing a woman down the stairs. So use a condom.
You Want It, You Got It
Like just about anything during pledgehip, if a brother wants something, he can get something. In that case, pledges don’t always have to have everything on them at that time. Yet, all of the above items are useful in the moment. The list can go on and on, depending on where you’re from. Up north, a pair of hand warmers might come in handy. Down south, a handheld electric fan could be an item of choice. Some of the more humiliating items include dildos, old food, bricks, etc. Why have a pledge hold a brick you ask? Well, because it’s funny. Anything to make a pledge’s life more miserable will do the trick. These accessories are all apart of Hazing 101. It’s a way of life.
Did we miss anything? Sound off in the comments below.
It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.