For all you naive folk out there, pledges aren’t the only ones getting their shit rocked. Think about it, pledgeship only lasts for a few months. What the hell is the brotherhood supposed to do without pledges to haze? It’s like having a girlfriend to screw on a daily basis, then breaking up. It’s not like you’ll give up doing the manly deed, you’ll at least resort to using your hand. Better yet, how can the brotherhood use pledges to fuck with one of the brothers? Like pawns in a fucking chess game, pledges serve just about every sacrificial purpose. With brother hazing, pledgeship never ends. Until the day you graduate, you’re fair game. Oh, the beauty of frat life.
So what? Brother hazing? Big fucking deal. Again, we’re assuming the life we’re describing is within a fraternity who actually parties, hazes and parties some more. If you didn’t know, you’re about to find out. When the brotherhood is pissed at one of the brothers, there are so many options in which you can handle it. Don’t kick dirt and pout, fucking deal with it. If pledgeship is still running, here are a few classic pranks played on brothers, courtesy of pledges taking orders correctly. These are merely known from experience:
- A pledge takes a shit in a bag, and hides it in the room of the brother.
- Pledges physically grab the brother and throw him in the shower fully clothed.
- Pledges partake in a unified party boy around the brother the entire time he’s in the fraternity house. He’s not allowed in the house without being surrounded.
- Pledges barricade the door of his room (with whatever they can), assuming he lives in the house. He won’t be able to get out.
These are pranks, and harmless at most. If a brother deserves to get his ass beat, then by all means, kick his ass. But in cases like these, the brother has merely been a bitch in some way or another. Do I really need to explain? Brother hazing is a comical slap on the wrist. With two added features, not only do you haze the brother for being a jackass, the entire brotherhood gets a good laugh out of it.
At times, brother hazing can go too far. Hell, that’s when it gets good. It’s a form of bonding, a sick, masochistic way to bring the brotherhood together. Grab a video camera and let the whole world see. It’s a fraternity’s legal system, and it works like a charm. You’re not going to fuck one of your brothers’ girlfriends in fear of paying the price. Well, if you do, she better be worth it.
Got any good brother hazing stories? Comment all you’d like below.
It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.