The life of a pledge is full of ups-and-downs: a rollercoaster, if you will. With orientation, pledge socials, hell week, and so much more, it’s tough to put your finger on the highest-highs or the lowest-lows. In the Fall, one day reigns supreme: Game Day. While everyone wishes they were in the SEC, football is cherished everywhere. Either way, when it comes to Game Days, pledges make the world-go-round.
Let’s make this clear, if you go to a college without a football program, then you’re most likely still living at home. Am I not right? A football program stands as the backbone of a true university. With a football program comes a handful of high-quality game days. Ironically, unless your brotherhood decides to hire a team of taxis, bartenders, musicians and door-holders, pledges will be in high demand. If you’ve yet to appreciate your pledging brethren, your first college game-day will turn the tide.
Let’s take a look at the numerous, yet essential purposes that a pledge will undertake during game day. To be clear, a quality game day encompasses a ton of sorostitutes, unlimited alcohol, quality entertainment, and a worry-free mind, to name a few.
Alcohol doesn’t grow on trees. Don’t pull out a technicality on that one; you know what I mean. Someone has to drive to the store, pay for the liquid gold, drive it back and stock the bar. It’s just one of the many #62 Costs of Pledgeship. Alcohol is just the start as a true tailgate must encompass a variety of delicious goodness. If there’s a grill to be manned, your pledges will be the ones flipping the burgers and putting the ketchup on the dogs.
Like I said before, unless your brotherhood pulls out a wild-card with a limo and a party-bus, there’s got to be someone who picks up the sorosituties. Pledge driving is one of the greatest aspects of pledgeship, and an integral part of game days. Someone needs to pick up the scantily-clad sorositutes, and it ain’t gunna be a brother, that’s for sure. Pledges bring the game to the brotherhood. The brotherhood then crushes the game. It’s cyclical, and awesome. On another note, there is a method to our madness of #41 Why We Haze. Pledge drivers equates to no DUI’s.
While the #16 Importance of Secrecy stands supreme, risk follows the same pathway. Our #65 Frat Castles must remain elitist; not everyone can be let in. And with that in mind, not everyone should be let out. It’s the pledges’ duty to guard the doors and manage the risk. While I’d like to think a pledge would go to jail in place of a brother (devotion), pledges can’t do everything. But they can make sure the drunken masses aren’t being retarded, resulting in cops swarming the premises.
We need cold beer. The mountains must be blue, that’s for damn sure. Pledges not only stock the bar, but they man it as well. By the end of pledgeship, each and every pledge will have a solid amount of bartending skills under their belt. What if I don’t want to get out of my seat on the couch? Not to worry, pledges serve as waiters as well. Champagne, bitch. Make it snappy.
If your #2 Rush chair has done his homework, then there’s a handful of pledges who can play some tunes. In that case, pledges serve as your entertainment for the evening. Get a guitar and a set of drums, and let the cheapest band in town rock out for the night. And if it just so happens that your pledge class has no musical talent what-so-ever, atleast use them for another form of entertainment. What am I talking about? Shotgun contests, chicken fights, karaoke, etc. Make them look like idiots for your own comedic pleasure.
If you’ve partied the right way, your frat castle will be trashed. Congratulations, that’s a good thing. When everyone heads to the game, let Santa’s little helpers make life a little cleaner. They know their place in life, and they’ll make sure that by the time you get back from the game, you’ll have a spiffy-looking house to trash once again.
Like I said, pledges make the world-go-round. Especially on game day.
It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.