We all know the little douche-bags who sit in the front row of class or lecture. When the professor cracks a miserable joke, they burst out laughing. They’re fucking annoying, they make us bros look bad, and you want to punch them in the face. This, my friends, is the GDI equivalent to The Overachieving Pledge. Just as every pledge class encompasses a Token Fat Pledge, there will always be the one pledge that goes above and beyond. The dick-sucker, brother-lover, overachieving faggot who makes the rest of the pledge class look like shit. There’s always one, and oh yes, we want to punch him in the face too.
From the very first day of pledgeship, you can tell which guy is going to fill the role. He’s usually a little smarter and slightly more anal than the rest. Yet, there are the occasional frat-stars who are so frat-tastic that pledgeship is a joy to them. But these fired-up pledges are an exception; they have been pardoned. We’re talking about the little bitch that always has his shit memorized, pledge attire perfected, always on time and always smiling. The little fucker just never understands that pledgeship is about unity. You better believe that once you become a brother, your pledge brothers will be your closest friends, allies and happy-hour wingmen. When you need someone to have your back, your pledge brothers will be the first ones there. When that hot slampiece won’t fuck unless it’s a two-on-one with another guy, well, you know where I’m going with this. Bottom-line: Your pledge brothers should mean everything to you. Pledgeship is where you build the relationship and build trust. Don’t be the guy who makes your pledge class look like shit.
In the eyes of the brotherhood, the overachieving pledge is the guy to call when you really need something done. Need a condom in less than ten minutes before she passes out? He’ll be there, with three different kinds to choose from. When getting hazed, he does his pushups the best, recites his frat history the fastest and does it all with the gayest fucking smile known to man. Are his pledge brothers jealous of his talents? FUCK NO. They hate him for what he is.
Now, we must realize that pledgeship is merely a game of survival. And if the overachieving pledge does what he needs to do to survive, then good for him. It’s like that genius in high school that you used to cheat off of for every test. You fucking hate him for how smart he is, but sometimes he was your saving grace. The overachieving pledge might save your ass one day during pledgeship, and he might just cover for you because he’s that insanely devoted. But still, he’s fucking annoying.
The common, unwritten law as a pledge follows one concept: never be the worst, and never be the best. If you’re the worst, you get fucked with most. If you’re the best, you’re second in line to getting fucked with, and, your pledge brothers hate you. Be the pledge that does his shit right, but keeps a distance from perfection. Always be there, but stay hidden. Know your shit, but don’t be perfect. There’s a huge difference between a fired-up pledge, and an overachieving douche-bag. In the end, you’ll all be brothers. This is a pass/fail class, so stop sitting in the front row and sucking-off the professor.
It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.