The Drunk Pledge

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If you really wanna fire-up the brotherhood, shotgun a beer. But we’re not talking about your average Saturday night rager. If your dreams of frat-star status are truly worthy, you’ll get fucked up on a daily basis. As a pledge, there’s no better way to earn respect. Well, assuming you’re pledging the right fraternity. Let’s get this straight, the always-drunk pledge enjoys his pledgeship most, atleast as much as he can remember.

Just like every pledge class has its Token Fat Pledge, there’s always the pledge who’s constantly drunk… hence, the drunk pledge. The greatest hazing activities are pointless if the pledge is hammered. I mean, when you’re drunk at the bar, do you really feel the beer being spilt all over your clothes? Fuck no, you’re hammered and life’s all good. Well, the drunk pledge takes this theory to a whole new level. For an entire semester, the alcohol continues to flow.

To make this clear, the drunk pledge has nothing to do with The Overachieving Pledge. These two are opposites in all ways possible. The drunk pledge gets away with everything because he’s always hammered. When it’s his turn to drive all night, it just so happens that he’s already wasted. He’s fired-up, get it? The brotherhood loves him, and has a hard time hazing his nuts because of who he is. I mean it’s almost along the lines of celebrity status. He’s a bro in all ways possible. When the lovely ladies of sorority XYZ come over with buckets of liquor, food and presents, the drunk pledge is the first to be asked on a date function. He’s a lady’s man, but you better believe a cold brew is more important to him than some damn chick. Bros over hoes.

It’s gameday, and your frat’s pledge class has a shotgun contest. Who do think wins everytime? I don’t even need to explain. When hell week rolls around, he’s got a flask hidden all around the house. He knows the ropes, and he knows that alcohol is the solution to all things pledgeship related. How can a fraternity brother hate on those who fire us up? We just can’t. It’s a sin. Cheers to the drunk pledge. You keep the frat dream alive.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

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6 Comments
  1. PledgeMaster says

    Comment all you’d like. If you’re feeling generous, submit a story for consideration. You’ll stay anonymous, and your story might end up as the next post of the PledgeMaster.

  2. terpies says

    being the drunk pledge was easily the best decision i made besides blowing out a meniscus and being on crutches during pledging. i literally did next to nothing besides my required learning because i was drunk most nights.

  3. shitter says

    this will be me next year

  4. sloppy joe says

    this is totally a description of me, even though we are supposed to have a dry process. and it rocks

  5. The Drunk Pledge says

    ” The greatest hazing activities are pointless if the pledge is hammered.”
    This will totally be me next semester, hahahaha. Stoked.

  6. DeezNuts says

    Hahaha this is me right now day 43 getting faded for dayyys

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