The Pledge Who Does Nothing


Now let’s face it, we’re all in college and we all don’t really give a fuck about getting shit done. That’s self-explanatory. If you’ve ever pledged a frat, or have any intention to do so, let’s just say that your GPA isn’t your primary concern. I’m not hating, I’m congratulating. But hey, there comes a time when laziness just doesn’t cut it. And when you’re in the middle of pledgeship, being that guy will win you a basket full of shit. To get to the point, there’s always the pledge that does absolutely nothing. Whether he feels entitled to a cakewalk pledgeship, or he’s just an honest-to-god lazy-ass, each pledge class has one. The duties of pledgeship are relatively universal. Whether you’re reading this for education or pure pleasure, you’ve got to have some idea of what a pledge does. Designated driving, cleaning the house, serving dinner, running errands, getting hazed… The list really never ends. No matter how large or small your pledge class is, these duties of pledgeship are distributed evenly. As a pledge, you’re going to drive one night, and serve dinner the next. The concept is unity: when the pledges work together, their life becomes (slightly) easier. Well, sometimes.

In walks Mr. Lazyass: the cool kid who gets high on the reg, blows off classes and doesn’t give a shit about pledgeship. He knows he’s going to be a brother eventually, but doesn’t feel compelled to earn his way in. On nights where he’s the designated driver, he gets hammered or high. If dinner is at 6, he walks in as they’re finishing. If a mandatory cleaning session of the house is early in the morning, you better believe his alarm clock isn’t set. Do his pledge brothers trust him? Is Paris Hilton a virgin? Fuck no.

The brotherhood keeps track, and they know who’s the highest on their shit list. Punishment? Oh, in time. When the real hazing picks up, Mr. Lazyass will be the test dummy. His own pledge class will assign him the worst jobs and worst times to do them. The grand finale comes during Hell Week. When he hasn’t slept or eaten in days, no mercy will be shown. He’ll regret every lazy moment in the past few months. So don’t worry overachievers, the pledge who does nothing will have his moment of judgment. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Don’t be the worst, and don’t be the best. Pledgeship is about survival. Hide in the middle. Be seen, but don’t be picked out of the crowd. It’s solid advice: take it or leave it.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

  1. PledgeMaster says

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  2. Cherry Poppins says

    I never got angry about what other guys did during pledging. The last thing your pledge class needs is one pledge who decides he’s gonna try to boss the other pledges around, even if he has good intentions. No pledge is above another pledge, even the pledge president knows that. Getting angry about a lazy pledge is just a waste of emotion. You’re already losing your mind by the end of pledging anyways. If someone wants to be lazy, don’t worry about it. He’s losing the respect of his pledge brothers, which is punishment enough, in my opinion. You’re better off putting your efforts towards working together with the mature and responsible pledge brothers on getting things done.

    If you want to lead as a pledge, lead by example. Talking to other pledge brothers privately about someone who is slacking is one thing. Publicly, it is best to always stay positive and remain supportive of your pledge class as a whole. This will keep morale high and will keep the overall focus on getting through the pledge process together rather than concentrating on who’s not working hard enough. A pledge class that has turned against each other will have trouble staying cohesive and could result in disgruntled pledges dropping or cliques forming. The load of pledging is supposed to be carried as a team, and it is important to keep a team mindset.

    That being said, the lazy pledge is only diminishing the potential brotherhood experience he could be having. It is a special feeling to look into the eyes of your pledge brother and know that you went through the hard work of pledging together. As a sophomore pledge, I tried as best I could to lead by example during pledging and keep everyone’s morale high. There was a few other guys in my pledge class who tried to do the same. The other pledges listened to them. Towards the end of hell week, me and these guys really cared about setting a good example and helping our pledge class get through to the end. And especially when I look into those few guys’ eyes, there’s a tremendous sense of respect. The lazy pledge doesn’t have this.

    Everyone in the fraternity has at least a base level of brotherhood with all other brothers, but the lazy pledge doesn’t have the pride and bonding that comes from working hard alongside your pledge brothers during the tough times. So on that note, for me personally, there was no anger towards the guy, but he will always have to look his other pledge brothers in the eyes and know that he slacked off while his other pledge brothers worked hard. Most “lazy pledges” never realize the kind of bond they missing out on.

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